Monday, March 16, 2009

Death and realtives shut your pie hole!!!

A Guest visitor (and me):
OMG! WTF! Just lost my Mom and lost my son 8 years ago (and my brother). relatives Suck!!! Just told my sister to shut her "pie hole"! Where did that come from???? Was I "channeling" my son ???? I hate being "politically correct" My sisters are driving me nuts...greed, just nasty "sh*t...
Back to Me: and yes she is here. I just turn her on to it!!! with this post!
As I can say they are. However, I understand the son. I knew him. That makes complete sense. It was. no one gave shit about his Mom, My Real Mother! he was very protective of her and loved her more then anyone will know. including her. Love Pat. Been there for me through a lot. before and after. he is there. also, love her mom. My thoughts is that is that is odd. all of it. people stay after and it is fine, but there are "Personal Times" when you would love for them to go and see someone else!!! While I like my "private time" I'm glad they are both still there watching over all of us. There were no other like them. they are great and i feel great that they are both close at hand. As to the WS, I have no idea. Have none (Damn being an only child!! But thank goodness!!) I don't have to deal with what either of my mothers had to. I don't understand. But I don't have to, all I can do is understand and do what is can and love the people i love best.

Saturday, February 7, 2009


There is family you are born into and family you make. What this misses is the family that is pushed upon you.

I'm in Colorado for a funeral for my grandmother. There is no relation, but this is the closest relastionship I have to a Grandmother. I'm okay with all of this. Not happy about it, but okay. Most of that is on me.

I have never really had a grandfather. One passed when I was young, the other was gone before I had the chance. I have few memories of him. From the point of view of a child younger then 6, an old man who never played with me. As I got older, I realized he was sick and was unable.

But the two strongest grand parentaly forces in my life have not been blood. Now one of them had passed, and I'm upset. My "real grandmother" has passed. I thing the grandfather figure is not far behind. Time will tell.

But at this point I'm counting the people close to me. and I love them all for being a part of my life. The family, old and young, the family I made, friends I made. But mostly the family I was born into.

I'm lucky, I love mine and count them as my closest friends. I understand nonthing else and hope everyone understands. If not, then I'm sorry. I hope the best for you, but I will never understand. But I love the family out side my blood line. All of them.

If you do not have it, you will never understand, but wish you did. If you do, then you know. Family is a thing that you are born to, something your are forced into, and something you choose. that is the great thing about it. It is you in all the little bits wrapped up nicley.

I Love my family. All of them. no matter how far out they may be!

Friday, February 6, 2009

The First...Part 2 (AKA: The End)

I'm not going to tie this up in a neat little bow, but bring some sort of closure to, at least, this part of the blog.

I worked for this company and under him. (see previous post). This is how I tell people now. I worked for this company, but it was under him. (in case you have not notice, I'm not naming names. I'm using pronouns).

Two day's ago, I heard that the company closed. There was such a bad name for the 'hospitality' side that it was affecting that the office temps.

I'm not surprised. The person who took charge after he left, killed it all. No, really! I had clients telling me that they "didn't want to deal with [The new manager] !" It just got worse after that! After the first, they brought in a lady who was in and out of the hospital. While I understand a problem; who was running the office?

Long story short, the second GM was gone and a new one brought in; it didn't work. The company had fallen that far! They shut it down. I found out two days ago, not from them, but from others.

To give credit where it it due: he started out at the bottom and work his way up. he earned that position; and from being at the bottom of the ladder, that means a lot. The rest missed that. The never understood how hard we worked. They could not rally us to work harder. They missed the point completely.

Random thought: It's hard to scream at the people in charge when they are not there to hear, you are not there to scream and no one cares.

To the point, he was great.

Everyone above him, and after, missed the finer points

They let him leave

They have now paid for it.

More to the point. He was good. He did a great job. He understood everything! He had been through all levels. He was a great force in the industry.

What I learned:

~Life is short and unexpected. Be ready!

~Hold the people you love close, and tell them every time you talk to them. Even if you are in a fight. You really want a fight to be the last memory you have with them?

~Recognize people; for their strengths and weakness. we all have them!


I've already posted on this blog. A little about me. First, I have know idea what I'm going to do with blog. I just started it one night when I needed to rant. At this point, I'm going with it.

I live in Texas, near Houston. I drive an hour to each way to work. I am very in touch with my inner child. I like to play and have a great time. Side note, Toy's R Us is really sad...I miss FAO in Houston. Please come back!!! Went to school with Bush's No Child Left Behind. What a joke! I have a degree in HRM. One of the lucky ones to do what I love. despite that it drives me crazy at some points! I'm single. Ironically, considering my major, I really don't like people. I am what I am. This would be it! cope!

This is my rant area.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The First...

While in college I got a job, as most people have to do at this point of their life. i worked for a staffing agency for caterers. The people there were wonderful! Pay great! The job ideal, you call every week and let them know what you could work. What more could a college student ask for? The people I work for were wonderful. I worked for them for roughly two years, grew to know these people. Actually enjoyed my job! I liked and respected the people I worked with.

"Life happens while you are making other plans"

Our GM was moving. No one was happy. At his request, I worked the party where he told the staff he was transferring with the company out of town and introduced us to the women taking his spot. Okay fine. Long story short, things changed again. He ended up quitting and taking a position with a local company. Things were great! We still worked with him, he only asked for those he know!

But something else changed...not sure what.

Last time I saw him was at a party. I had the semester from hell and was not working a lot. This week I called in to let the office know when I could work. I was give a choice. his party or this other one. (I don't even remember what it was, there was no choice for me.) I booked myself on his party. I make it there and we start setting up...

Our last conversion...

I was setting up the bar. He came over to talk.
He made a comment, "you never work my parties anymore."
Completely oblivious, I answer, "I've been busy with school."
small talk continued for a brief time and he went to check on something. I started thinking, why did I not tell him that, yes I'm busy but I choose this party to work with you? It bothered me. A LOT! I stopped what I was doing and went looking for him. Couldn't find him. After about 10 minutes of looking, I asked where he was. By his staff, someone I'd known for a while, he was not suppose to be there. He was just checking in. He had left. . .

I went out in the street to look for him... hoping he was still there. No. He was gone.

I had a hope that he'd return and I could fix what ever it was. However, it bothered me all night, but I came to terms and figured the next time I saw him, I'd make it right. But it bothered me. I thought about tracking him down, if I called the office, the people there would know how to reach him. However, I dismissed that.

The party was on a Saturday; that Tuesday I found out that he'd killed himself late Saturday night, early Sunday morning.


I have very little delusions about the relationship I had with him and what happened. While we got along, it was never a close relationship. I'm still not sure knowing how he died that I believe it was a suicide. I'd just hate to think that if I'd spoken up, it might have changed things. It also bothered me how odd that last was night was, and how much it bothered me after he left...

I think it was only timing. Personally, I didn't know enough to judge his personal life, but I have a hard time thinking it was suicide. But it may have been.

Please do not miss read this. what ever you may find the story I just told, understand that this: I've told this story and meeting with him to no one. The "core" group of the (lack of a better term) employees that worked and knew him think he did, but miss him. We talk about him often. However, there are a handful that knew him best and were closer. They do not believe it. They think it was an accident. There ruling on cause of death was little help.

I go with both ways....I can see an accident, but that last still bothers me.

I just wish I had the answers.

but I don't and there are none to give.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. "
Robert FrostUS poet (1874 - 1963)

The Begining!....

...Like I think there is going to be more. I have no idea, I'm just going with it. Go with it! I'm on a mission tonight...